One week...

And we can't wait!

Serious Sparkle

Overpriced? Oh yeah.
Gaudy? Did you see them?
Awesome? Hell yes!

You may say, "Yeah, but 1 out of 3 is not reason enough to buy."
You're right, but this is...

Dear Santa, it's me Quinn

Dear Santa,
I have been a really good girl this year. If you don't believe me, just ask. Please bring me a Barbie, doll that pees, a puppy, all things princess and pink, oh yeah and all things pretty, sparkly and fabulous.
And, since I was so perfectly good this year and you will be delivering a ton of amazing gifts to my attention you'll have a lot of room in your sleigh for your return ride to the North Pole. Please feel free to take my brother with you.
Fondest thoughts,
Quinn

The weekend

So excited that the weekend is almost here - and very few things planned fall under the "Sufferfest" definition.
Yeah us!
Have a good one - cheers!

Sufferfest - been there?

I started running a little over a year ago and it's been a great way to stay in shape. Unfortunately I've taken a couple of weeks off, so last night was hell on the treadmill. Or, as Preston would call it "a real Sufferfest". See Barton 4 definition of Sufferfest below.

Sufferfest; noun, verb, adverb, adjective, blah, blah, blah
Root word: suffer

Definition of Sufferfest:
: Something horribly, terribly, and awfully personally encountered, undergone, or (barely) lived through

Synonyms:
Hideous disaster, calamitous event, nauseating bragging (about kids, diet, workout schedule, beauty, etc), abhorrent catastrophe, embarrassing debacle, stomach flu/food poisoning, apocalypse, tradeshows, cleaning the toilet, Armageddon, hangover.

Antonyms:
Kid-free anything, massage, lying on beach, eating dinner without interruption (including, but not limited to: spilled milk, screaming, peeing of pants, complaining, whining, fighting, or tears), sleeping past 6:00 am, enjoyable, interesting, fun, care-free, easy, fully rested and rich, winning the lottery, getting a raise, smashing success, wine tasting.

Examples of Sufferfest:
• That time on the treadmill was a real Sufferfest.
• Oh no, they put sauce on Johnny’s chicken, eat fast to shorten the length of the upcoming Sufferfest.
• Cleaning the house is a pure Sufferfest.
• Having lunch with Sally (thin, rich, beautiful, perfect children and husband) to “catch up” after her two week tropical vacation will be a complete Sufferfest.
• I can’t believe I drank two bottles of wine and it’s 3:00 am – holy shit tomorrow is going to be a Sufferfest as I take the kids to the disco roller-skating birthday party.
• Why oh why did I cut my own bangs, the next month is going to be a hair Sufferfest.
• Ahhhhhhhh SUFFERFEST!


What's your Sufferfest? How do you live through it?

Santa Baby

(Read while humming Santa Baby)

Santa baby, slip a wait staff under the tree, for me
I've been an awful good girl (well I tried)
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa baby, an adorable and handsome masseuse, that too
I'll wait up for you dear
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Think of all the fun I've missed
Think of all the scoldings that I haven't dished
Next year I could be oh so good (well averagely so)
If you'd check off my Christmas list
Boo doo bee doo

Santa honey, I wanna trip and really that's just
the tip
Of the iceberg my dear
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa cutie, there's one thing that I want and might even share
an au pair
that loves my kids like they’re hers
Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa baby, and fill my stocking with a personal chef, and checks
Sign your X on the line
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Come and trim my Christmas tree
And finish all the laundry that’s been killing me
I really do believe in you
Let's see if you believe in me
Boo doo bee doo

Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing, my offspring
they could use a staff too
Santa baby, and hurry clean the chimney tonight

Hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry up and make my life right – hear my plight!

Let me reintroduce myself...

I have been told by the 6 of you that it's been a while since I've provided an update. So, here goes a feeble attempt to update you on the circus that is our life. Life has been crazy with the Barton 4 this fall and I'm sure your house is nuts too. (If not, please just tell me it is so I feel a little bit better about my state of affairs.)
Ahem, Connor started at a new elementary school in August (1st grade - can't believe it), Quinn turned 3 (going on 13), I started a new job, Preston started a new job, Quinn got potty trained, we got a dog, we potty trained the dog, we sobbingly gave the dog back to the rescue organization, I ran my subaru into the garage, I took Connor to the ER (he's fine) with a terrible case of croup/whooping cough, 2 of us survived the stomach flu, we celebrated Thanksgiving amongst family and friends, one of us turned 35 (boo hoo!), Preston got his first day of skiing in for the season, and our Christmas lights are hung.
Good hell - glad that's all in the rearview mirror.
Right now we are in the midst of Christmas shopping, with the kids list changing by the minute. What have you been up to lately?